Why do guys like cars so much?

Why do guys like cars so much? Not-So-Hot-Rod, SA

It is true dudes dig wheels. There is something about the smell of petrol, the griminess of grease, and the choking fumes of an exhaust pipe that make us go weak at the knees. And the bigger, the stronger, and the faster the automobile, the more we salivate over it.

This love has developed over thousands of millennia. In caveman days, the strongest and most virile members of the clan were rewarded accordingly with the largest and most ferocious beasts to parade upon as they hunted, waged war and protected the women and children folk.

A man like me probably would have been rewarded with a bear - tall, strong, merciless, savage; yet with the potential to be graceful, gentle, and display a fondness for honey and picnic baskets.

Historians have even managed to piece together scientific data to reconstruct the process of the era where, at the end of a hard day's hunting or pillaging, all the men of the clan would chain their beasts to adjacent trees, comparing their animals attribute's. It is suspected conversations of the period would have run as such:

Gurlog - "Hey Ugg, my lion's teeth are much sharper than your wolf's teeth."

Ugg - "Ah yes Gurlog, but my wolf has the speed and cunning of a hundred lions."

Gurlog - "Werd."

As civilisation progressed and we converted our transportation from mammals to Monaros the manners we displayed as Neanderthals gave Darwin the finger and failed to develop.

The beasts we ride upon today continue to aid us in our efforts of hunting. Though these days our quest for mammoth hide has been replaced by our constant search for another species, the elusive "Chicks" (Latin name - Hottus babeus).

It is simply nature that has determined that we, the stand-to-pee species, find so much solace in supped up muscle machines with their purring engines, shiny exteriors, and comforting, cosy interiors. Any man that says he doesn't dig cars should have been wiped out by evolution.

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