Why do guys love boobs?

Why do guys love boobs? Baffled, NT.

I am going to answer this question with a question. Why do girls love shoes? They are simply devices designed to prevent foot injury. Who cares if they're made of leather or suede; what colour they are; how big the heel is; whether Manolo Blahnik makes them. They are just shoes!

From what I have learned from 'Sex and the City', you don't even buy them for comfortability. Women actually spend hundreds of dollars on things that pose a medical threat to their lower extremities! That does not make sense.

Boy's love of boobs follows a similar formula. We have no legitimate reason to love them. Put two large lumps of fat covered in skin in front of us, and we couldn't care less. However, throw a couple of nipples in the mix - you've got a winning combination.

And don't pretend like you ladies don't know it. Cleavage is the greatest male mind control device ever invented. We can't resist. We're like moths to a bug zapper. That long lusty line of flesh and desire slowly draws us in, controlling our every movement until we are close enough and then ... ZAP! We've bought you a pair of $560 Jimmy Choo Glossy Pumps, and we didn't even see it coming.

I'll finish now, like I love to do, with a pop culture anecdote. Ask any person what the greatest film of all time was and you'll get a mixed reaction. Some will toss up between 'Pulp Fiction' or 'Gladiator'. Others will um and argh about 'Forrest Gump' and 'Gone With the Wind'. Ask me what the greatest film of all time was and you'll get a fast and decisive answer. Arnold Schwarzenegger's 1990 classic 'Total Recall'.

"Why 'Total Recall'?" you ask. Good plot line? No. Great soundtrack? Not really. Awesome special effects? You could say that. Simple answer: there is a female character in it that has four boobs. She should have won an Oscar.

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