"That's a nice dress!" = "Your boobs/bum look awesome!"

"Home and Away is an awesome show." = "The chicks in Home and Away are awesome!"

"My shoulders are sore from (insert physical activity)," followed by agitated look and shrugging of shoulders ="I need a back-rub, pleeeeaaaasse!"

"Hey, you want go see a movie?" = "Hey, you want pash off (and hopefully grope) in the dark?"

"Hey why don't you listen to this CD?" = "I think your taste in music is rubbish."

"That (insert chick flick) was really good." = "How is Hugh Grant a professional actor?"

You get up and he says "Oh, can't we sit for a bit longer?" = I need a minute to think of Golem in the Lord of the Rings eating a cold fish to make my hard-on deflate."

You say, "Do you like my haircut?" He says, "It really brings out your beautiful eyes!" = "I didn't notice, but distracting you by complimenting one of your other physical features will hopefully keep me out of trouble."

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